Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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