he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize