They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
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