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• (970): View more from Colorado

  We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom

  (636): View more from Missouri

  You know how us drunks love counting steps

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'

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• (425): View more from Washington

  there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..

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• (325): View more from Texas

  As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?

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• (347): View more from New York

  full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (518): View more from New York

  I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  "If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse

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• (707): View more from California

  He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  You were crying hysterically

  (540): View more from Virginia

  So that's why my heels were in the oven...

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