i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.