It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know