well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
my being single is dangerous.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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