marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize