its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
