Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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