It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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