Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I don't deserve a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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