I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
