Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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