No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
