it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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