Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize