"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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