Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
