I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
