I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
