Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
it's like iHOP with fire
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize
