Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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