3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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