sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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