Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
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I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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