The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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