I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
she told me i tasted like america
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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