Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
