I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
