i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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