Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
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Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
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The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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