OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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