He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
