i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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