So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
