I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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