I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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