Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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