Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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