My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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