I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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