i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
