im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
