We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
