I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
