i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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