it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
