i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
