I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
