he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
