He kissed a someone with a penis
please come you make the beer taste better
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
