Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
