Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
