What a fucking waste of an outfit
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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