i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
