what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I AM VODKA MAN
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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