Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
