His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
