New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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