he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Randomize
