I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize